Developing Strong Social Ties in Your Family
Families develop their own micro-culture. This culture is a mixture of the morals, values, and practices the family has. Families tend to hold similar beliefs and one generation typically influences the next on important topics. As parents, if your typical idea of a great Friday night is to stay home and order pizza, that will likely become the standard for your entire family.
Families who embrace a healthy social life produce well-adjusted children who are comfortable being social and enjoy engaging outside of their family for fun. As a parent, your influence makes a big difference on how much and how comfortable your family is being social.
Being social starts young
Being social and having great social skills starts young. Taking your children with you when you shop, eat out, and do things in the community helps them see being in the car, engaging with others, and being on the go as common. The better your attitude about taking children out and about, the easier it is for everyone.
Being social includes extracurricular activities
Families who enroll their children in extracurricular activities make it possible for their children to learn directly and passively how to be social. Teachers, coaches, peers, and other adults all have an influence and impact on the social lives of children- both positively and negatively. Nonetheless, being part of a group setting helps children learn to be better listeners, teammates, and community members.
Being social includes cutting the cord
It can be hard, but part of fostering strong social ties includes allowing children to participate in social activities on their own. Age-appropriate activities for children help them develop socially and experience their own preferences whether that be group settings of more one-to-one experiences. Sometimes well-meaning parents can stifle a childís social growth by hovering or not allowing their children to explore socially.
Being social includes others
Encouraging your children to develop friendships and helping them have access to their friends in and out of your home matters. Encouraging friendship as primary support helps your child develop healthy ties to people outside of their family. This is vital when children leave home as young adults.
Creating strong social ties is an important part of raising a child. Being a model for healthy social activity and encouraging your children to be active and social helps them get along well and do better throughout life. Help your children be social and encourage them to enjoy a healthy social life.
Nature vs Nurture- How You Are and What You Experience Guides Your Social Life
Throughout the course of the last twenty days or so, we have discovered that a healthy social life is possible at any age. We know now that our personality plays a large role in what our preferences are for socializing. Weíve also learned how important it is for our health to be socially active.
It's a great time to remember two key things that influence our social lives-
Our natural tendencies
AND
How those tendencies were nurtured
We are a combo pack of our natural personalities and everything that happens to us. We are born with a certain innate way of being and from there our circumstances enhance or diminish those innate traits. Letís look at some examples-
An introvert who has consistently positive social experiences can develop an extroverted communication style. That means that someone who enjoys being alone and may, under some situations, come across as shy or aloof could override their natural tendencies and appear to be very outgoing. In this case, the consistent social exposure- despite being introverted and needing alone time to recharge, an introvert may be able to be highly social because of the positive experiences they have had.
Extroverts are born to shine and be social butterflies. What happens when an extrovert has a series of negative social experiences? It could result in more timid or passive behavior. In this case, the natural tendency to be socially active and engaged is interrupted and replaced with social anxiety and a diminished desire to be social. This can lead to depression or other mental health issues since the need to socialize isnít met in a healthy way. The extrovert might be avoiding social activities to protect their wounded psyche but need a social connection to feel better.
All of this is to say that our experiences throughout life impact our natural tendencies and can amplify or diminish them. If youíre seeking to create a happier, healthier social life itís important to look at how the nurtureÖor lack of it, influences your personality.
If you find that your personality and your social life arenít jiving, itís time to take some action. Here are some thoughts-
Talk to someone- If you are struggling socially, you might need a fresh perspective. Talk to someone you trust or a coach or therapist to help you sort through where the nurture part of your life is colliding with nature.
Make changes- Nothing in life is permanent. If you are unhappy with your social life and you realize youíre being impacted by the experiences youíve had in the past, make changes. If youíve had bad experiences, do what you need to do to move past them. If youíve had great experiences but still donít thoroughly enjoy your social life, make changes to customize your social life and feel even better.
Your natural way of being is greatly influenced by what happens around you. Surely there have been some impactful experiences that either made you feel more like yourself or less. Sort them out and see how they influence your social life. Once you begin to see things clearly, you can start to create a happy and healthy social life at any age.
Top People Who Influence Our Social Life
From the cradle to the grave we have an innate need to be social. Engaging with others and feeling a part of a community is important for our development, mental and physical health. When we are born, our parents and family have a major impact on our lives. Their loving care becomes the building blocks for a strong social foundation. Over time, more and more people influence our social life.
These influences can enhance or diminish our experiences socially and shape how healthy and happy our social lives are. Here are some of the typical influencers that shape our social life-
* Parents
* Siblings or close-contact relatives
* Teachers
* Coaches
* Care providers
Parents- Our parents are the primary source of social influence throughout our childhood and into adulthood. How they care for us and the modeling they do to encourage a healthy and happy social life makes an important impact.
Siblings and close relatives- Our siblings and those relatives closest to us create an extension of the impact our parents have. Generally speaking, our families have similar morals and values and the consistent messages really influence our beliefs. This includes how we socialize.
Teachers- Often times teachers are the first major influencers in our lives outside of our parents. Depending on when you begin school, the impact can start as early as pre-school. Teachers are a wonderful resource for intentionally teaching social skills through specific lesson plans as well as passively by modeling behaviors in the classroom.
Coaches- Like teachers, coaches have an important impact on our social lives. If you play team sports, being social can be competitive, and having good experiences helps. Good coaches can instill the right beliefs and skillsets to make being social easier and more fun.
Care providers- Whether we spend time with family, in care centers, or after school care, care providers can make a big impact on our social skills when we are young. Care providers are often a combination of nurturing adults, teachers, and friends. Their unique relationship to us as a child can really support our social growth.
As a child, there are many people who help shape our social development. As with anything, there may be one who stands out in very positive ways while another stands out in negative ways. As an adult, you can discern between who was a great influence and who wasnít and take the good and leave the bad behind. Either way, how you experience your social life is directly tied to the influences in your life as you were growing up.
