Putting the Happy into your Holidays
The holidays are a wondrous time of year filled with every imaginable delight for your senses. Great tasting food, beautiful décor, soft and fuzzy sweaters, and music that only comes around once per year. It’s no wonder people can’t wait for the holidays to help them escape into a time of family, fun, and festivities.
While the idea of the holidays is always delightful, the realities can be quite overwhelming. Juggling an already busy schedule with added activities during the holidays can quickly take the wonder out of the season and replace it with stress. What started out as Happy Holidays becomes surviving the Holidaze.
The holidays don’t stop for stressful life events either. Illnesses, injuries, or adjusting to big changes don’t get put on hold during the holiday season. There are some years that the holidays co-mingle with great loss or change. Finding a way to embrace the season while dealing with setbacks can be tricky.
The holidays don’t have to wear you out. There are many things you can do to reduce the stress and streamline your holidays. Believe it or not, you don’t have to recreate a Hallmark Channel version of the holidays in order for them to be magical. It’s entirely possible to decorate, host family, cook meals, entertain, and still enjoy the season. It’s also entirely possible to celebrate the joy of the season while simultaneously managing great loss.
Ultimately, the holidays may not look like anyone else’s, but that’s the point. What makes your holidays happy may not look anything like what someone else is experiencing. The key is to focus on your unique needs at the time and craft a holiday that makes the most sense under your circumstances.
Letting go of guilt, expectations, and overwhelming yourself helps put the happy into your holidays. Knowing what you can manage alongside everything else going on is what helps you mean it when you say Happy Holidays to others.
This season, and every one after, should be a reflection of your life in the moment. If you’re experiencing abundance with your finances, time, and energy, let the season reflect it. If you are weathering a great storm, allow yourself to modify your holiday to accommodate the needs you and your family have at the time.
There’s no reason to struggle during the holidays. The season is designed to give pause for reflection and celebrate with family and friends. Keeping the focus on these things allows for the holidays to remain manageable rather than overwhelming.
3 Thieves that Rob your Holiday Spirit
Everyone starts off with tremendous holiday spirit. The mere idea of the holiday’s sparks joy. Knowing anything is possible during the season creates a sense of wonder and delight… right about the time the first pumpkin spice latte hits the coffee shop. Sadly, it doesn’t always take long for one…or more…of three thieves to rob your holiday spirit.
The three thieves of holiday spirit are
Finances
Time
Family
Any of these, or all of them for that matter, have a tendency to steal the joy you’ve mustered for the season. Sadly, what’s supposed to be a happy time can easily turn stressful when your money, your time, or your family are out of whack.
Finances have the potential to steal your holiday spirit
When people are strapped for cash during the holidays it can feel like a burden. From failing to plan to face an unexpected financial hit, money problems tend to steal the holiday spirit. The expectations for spending during the holidays can cause a lot of stress. Décor costs, gifts, meals, and attending extra activities can make a dent in your budget. It’s important to understand that everyone feels stressed. You are not alone! There are things you can do to help the budget. You can switch up your holiday plans or forgo some of the typical spendings to help keep your holiday finances under control.
Time has the potential to steal your holiday spirit
There are only so many hours in the day. Though you could sleep less, that’s not the best way to try to get everything done. The holidays come with a lot of time commitments. Extra shopping, holiday parties and activities, and time with family and friends have to be mixed with your typical everyday needs. This can zap your energy and rob you of your spirit. What should be a fun activity can become an intrusion or cause for a headache. Taking control of your time during the holidays might be easier than you think. What’s more, there are things you can do in the months leading up to the holidays that can help you have more time when you need it most.
The family has the potential to steal your holiday spirit
Family is one of the main reasons to get excited about the holidays, yet family can also be a chief thief of your holiday spirit. Sadly, dysfunction doesn’t take a break from October through January. Sometimes the people you want to spend time with cause problems that make it really hard to enjoy them and sometimes you’re forced into family time with people you’d really rather avoid. It’s possible to set limits and set boundaries that help you and your family have the best holiday possible. It might feel scary, but It’s possible to confront behaviors that keep families from feeling uncomfortable during the holidays.
If you’ve ever felt strapped for cash, strapped for time, or wanting to avoid certain family during the holidays then you’ve experienced one or more of the thieves of the holiday spirit. It’s common for them to try to rob your joy, but you don’t have to allow them to put a damper on your holiday. Prepare for them, realize they want to rob your spirit, and take precautions to make sure they don’t have a chance.
Choosing what’s best for your Family During the Holidays…Without Feeling guilty!
There can be a lot of pressure during the holidays to be, do, and have things that may or may not fit into your vision. The thing is, everyone has a unique idea of what merriment looks like and the best way to spend the holiday season. That’s great if it gels with your ideas, but it can feel like a burden if it doesn’t.
Ultimately, it’s important to choose what’s best for your family during the holidays and let go of any guilt along the way. It might feel uncomfortable but if you keep your focus positive, you can assert yourself without too much fallout. Here’s how-
Get confident in what’s best for your family- One of the keys to choosing what’s best for your family without feeling guilty is knowing for certain what’s best. When you are clear on what you want and need, it’s easier to be confident about it. An example could be declining to travel for the holidays if you have a new baby, puppy, just moved, an illness or injury, or any situation that feels too overwhelming for travel. Knowing that it’s best for your family to stay put can help you make a clear decision, stick to it, and not feel guilty about it.
Communicate clearly and early- Once you’ve decided what’s best for you this season, make sure key people know as early as possible. Waiting until the last minute can cause hard feelings and leave other people in the lurch. Letting people know what your plans are in a clear and concise way will help them adapt and make their own plans too.
Offer an explanation and let it go- Communication is key. It might be important for you to clarify why you are choosing whatever it is for your family’s holiday. Make sure to explain with confidence and then let it go. Not everyone will understand your plan or endorse it, but they will respect it if you set healthy limits and refuse to negotiate.
Refuse to feel bad about what’s best for your family- You can’t please all the people all the time. Some people are unable or unwilling to give others the grace and freedom to do what’s best for them. It’s ok if someone is upset with your decision as long as you have made things clear, concise, and are being mature with your communication. Ultimately, you can’t control other people’s reactions, you can only control your own.
If you need to reduce your stress this season by creating a holiday plan that’s perfect for your family but might ruffle some feathers, it’s important to put your family first and refuse to feel guilty. Healthy people will understand, and unhealthy people won’t. That’s ok. Doing what’s best for your family is nothing to be afraid of.