How to Live a More Intentional Life

There is a popular saying that life is too short, well, it’s a fact. People want to make every moment count and enjoy life. ‘Live a little, they say. But, enjoying life doesn’t mean that we should be reckless or that we should care less about life. We can choose a unique way of enjoying life so that even when the time comes to leave the earth we can rest with a smile knowing that we did everything to the best of our abilities. Unlike simply enjoying life, this choice, which can be referred to as living an intentional life, does exceedingly more for us. If you have tried both sides, living an unintentional and intentional life that is, you will understand this better. Just so we are clear, living an intentional life means making a decision as to what kind of person you want to be and what you want your life to communicate then purposing to align your actions, goals, and conversations with that dream.

Let’s face it, we can live life the way we want without worrying about what others think as long as we continue to have ‘fun’, no rules whatsoever to guide us. But the fact is that most people rarely find fulfillment in that kind of life. An unintentional life can lead us to 'wherever the wind blows'. I'm sure you can guess that having to turn back and go against the wind and dealing with the bruises and consequences may be the hardest thing to do. Of course, this does not mean that an intentional life is perfect, and without challenges. But, there is one thing that we can be sure of. People who live an intentional life have so much that is protecting them against or giving them strength in the storms of life. On top of that, the life they live may also have a long-lasting impact on people in their circles. To them, life is not just about surviving, it is a purposeful journey on which each one of us has a role to play. If you are keen on living or continuing to live a more intentional life, you might need to do the following;

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1.      Know your purpose – it gives your life direction. It is easy to forget goals unless they are founded in who you are and who you are determined to be. People who know their purpose are usually strong-willed and do not find satisfaction in anything that does not contribute to fulfilling their purpose. They are more likely to be solid in their planning. Thus, when we know our purpose, we do not do things randomly unless they help us reach our goals even if they came unexpectedly.

2.      Set clear goals – goals are targets that are markers of who we are and where we are going. To successfully live an intentional life, we need to consider our ultimate goal or purpose and the best way to achieve it. Thus, we will need to take into consideration the spirituality, type of life partner or family, type of job, the friends, the connections and schedules that perfectly align with what we want to achieve in our lifetime. Put simply, your goals align with your values and dream

3.      Have a solid foundation or reason for the life you want – How firm anything stands with or without storms is determined by how strong the foundation is.  If you do not have a binding reason for what you want to be, you can easily be derailed from your chosen path. Find a passion to live for, something you cannot easily find peace if you were to let go. That could be the legacy you want to live behind for your family, changing the lives of poor children or, creating an environment full of love, care, and mercy around you, to mention just a few.

4.      Have principles and boundaries – Principles and boundaries must become a part of who we are in order for them to keep us focused and clear on how much compromise we can do. The goal here is to ensure that we are not lured into anything that is against purpose or goals. It is mainly about understanding what is good for you and your plans and staying on the path that leads to achieving your goals.

5.      Surround yourself with realistic people who understand your journey – the last group of people or individuals you want to give your attention if you are trying to live an intentional life are people who live a fast life or those who will make you think that your dreams are invalid. You need people who will always remind you that what you started is doable, people who will pick you up when you fall and encourage you when you lose strength. Have friends who will be willing to support you through it all.

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• Understand what leads to chaos and squash it!

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6.      Do not compete with others – understand that speed is not what matters in the life race. The seemingly slow speed can get you to your goals fast enough, while a fast pace and shortcuts may take you back to the starting point. Be yourself, take your time, and run your own race. Competitions will make you feel that your dreams have taken forever or cause you to doubt if you made the right choices.

7.      Accept a life of challenges and be persistent – the more you understand that life will always have its high and lows, the better you will be prepared to face them. All you need to do is make it a point that you always bounce back or rise above your storm. Yes, you can take advantage of some challenges you face. Keep your eyes open and look for opportunities.

How to Beat the ATS - Applicant Tracking System

As I sit here at my Macbook Air contemplating the approach I want to take on this impossible-sounding article, I hear one of my favorite Miranda Lambert songs in the back of my head…

“Hey whatever happened to,

Waitin’ your turn

Doing it all by hand,

‘Cause when everything is handed to you

It’s all only worth as much as the time you put in

It all just seems so good the way we had it

Back before everything became, automatic…”

Don’t get me wrong – I love the internet. I love my email and my instant messenger. I love having all this information and access right at my fingertips. And it’s so damn fast, too.

That’s the problem.

Back in the day, I remember sending resume after resume, cover letter after cover letter, to addresses of employers with position listings that I found in the newspaper or Chronicle of Higher Education. And don’t forget about those Placement Conferences.

Every job application went into its own 8 1/2 x 11 manilla envelope and was taken to the post office, weighed, stamped, and mailed. There was no internet, there was no Monster.com, there was no Indeed.

Having navigated the process of updating every resume, every cover letter, and gathering all of my individually addressed letters of recommendation seemed like a lot of work at the time…but that was okay with me because I completely understood the process and what was expected of me.

Am I a terrible person because I’d like for it to still be that way?

Online job applications can speed things up, make things much easier for the employer to view, sort, and store. If you are on a search committee, you can screen those applications from the comfort of your desk or office and not have to spend the entire day in the Human Resources Office reading and scoring 300 paper applications.

(I’ve done this before. It’s quite painful.)

But the list of cons is equally as long – online controls can be too limiting, online only applications can inadvertently exclude possible qualified candidates, and it’s quite an investment to get started.

And that’s just from the employer’s side of things.

As a potential employee and candidate, it can be horribly frustrating trying to navigate the online job environment in order to stand out above other candidates. And while it may have seemed a like a great deal of work printing all those paper resumes and taking them to the post office, candidates have to do a great deal more preparation work for an online job application to stand out.

Getting Started

When you’ve identified a position of interest to you and discover the online application, make sure you get very familiar with what is expected in the job application.

From the employer side, I have reviewed many online applications that aren’t complete simply because the candidate didn’t realize what was required for the application.

In our desire to finish the application, we may neglect required items or just gloss them over.

The Balance Careers website shared a great list of items you will need to have in hand and ready to go before you begin filling out that application form. It’s not just your resume and cover letter:

Personal Information Required for an Employment Application

• Name

• Address, city, state, zip code

• Phone number

• Email Address

• Social security number

• Are you eligible to work in the United States?

• If you are under age eighteen, do you have an employment certificate?

• Have you been convicted of a felony within the last five years? (information about convictions varies based on state law)

Education and Experience Needed for a Job Application

• School(s) attended, degrees, graduation date

• Certifications

• Skills and qualifications

• Grade Point Average (G.P.A.), if this was above 3.50

• Extracurricular activities where you held a leadership role

• Honor societies

Employment History Required

• Employer

• Address, phone, email

• Supervisor

• Job title and responsibilities

• Salary

• Starting and ending dates of employment (month, day, and year)

• Reason for leaving

• Permission to contact the previous employer

References

• Name

• Job title

• Company

• Address, phone, email

If you can’t remember the address, city, and zip code of your employer three jobs ago, you’d better look it up before you start your online application. Get all these details together and set them aside. Or better yet, save it as a Google Doc so you have it accessible all the time (you can be old school, too, and just write it down).

Strengthen Your Profile

When was the last time you updated your LinkedIn profile? In the online job environment, LinkedIn can give your candidacy a big boost if you are able to connect things there that might get left out in your application (or not required).

Keppie Careers shares strong advice on how LinkedIn can boost your online footprint:[1]

“Statistics show that over 90% of recruiters are using it to source hires. LinkedIn users post jobs, and when you view the descriptions, you can see who posted it and how you are connected to that person or organization via LinkedIn.

You can also see how many people have applied for the job via LinkedIn. These tools make it useful as a job search/applying for jobs tool.

Many companies will allow you to apply for jobs using a one-click option where you use you LinkedIn profile instead of filling out an application.”

Do Your Research

As you would ANYWAY for your job application, visit the employer’s website and check things out. According to Forbes:[2]

“First, recruiters want to see that you have a special interest in their company. They’re more likely to pursue a candidate who has a history with the company or industry and a story about why they’re applying now. Take the time to learn its mission and values. Then, incorporate those into your job history and cover letter. This will help you stand out among other applicants who applied without doing their homework.”

Workbloom suggests going the extra mile and contacting hiring managers directly.[3] Once again, LinkedIn to the rescue:

“When you complete an online application, use LinkedIn to research who the department head, hiring manager, HR manager, or supervisor is for your desired position.

Then, find out their e-mail and send them a short introduction letting them know you have applied for a specific job and that you are very interested in joining their team.”

Get to Know ATS

ATS stands for Applicant Tracking System. Applicant tracking systems are used by corporations to assist with recruitment and hiring processes. Each system offers a different combination and scope of features, but ATS is primarily used to help hiring companies collect, organize, and filter applicants.

While these are a dream for corporations and organizations, they can be a nightmare for candidates. According to Job Scan:[4]

Corporate recruiters can have their ATS automatically extract information from an applicant’s resume to build a digital applicant profile that can be searched, filtered, and/or ranked. The goal is to quickly cull out anyone who is under-qualified, make the applicant pool smaller, and quickly identify the top candidates.

Unfortunately for job seekers, most ATS lack sophistication and are not able to search and filter candidates reliably. Some highly qualified candidates fall through the cracks and are wrongfully eliminated from the applicant pool because their resume has formatting issues or lacks the correct search keywords.

This is a necessary tradeoff for many hiring professionals with limited time and resources. In order to get noticed, job seekers must optimize their resume for ATS.

Trying to “beat” the ATS’ out there could be as futile as figuring out the Instagram or Facebook algorithms that are ever-changing. But The Muse offers these simple four tips on how to get past the “ATS Troll” to get your resume seen:[5]

1. Keep Formatting Simple

2. Nail the Correct Keywords

3. Ditch the Career Objective Section

4. Use Spell Check

Further, The Muse says,

“At the end of the day, once your resume passes the unfailing eye of the ATS, it will then be scrutinized by a human eye. The good news is that all of the advice for optimizing your resume for ATS is simply good resume practice.”

It seems that much of the online environment is dictated by keywords, algorithms, search engine optimization, and virtual engagement; it’s no wonder we are all so tired by the time we get to the job interview.

Nonetheless, in addition to all the access and information provided by the lovely World Wide Web, it definitely changed the way we pursue our dream jobs (or any job, for that matter).

The good news is that all this extra work gets you more prepared for the interview when you land it. Consider it Basic Training for your Job Search.

And an extra-special thank you to Miranda Lambert whose “Automatic” gave me the inspiration to launch this article.

*this post originally featured on Lifehack.org

20 Ways Introverts can be Successful Business Owners

20 Ways Introverts can be Successful Business Owners

There is no shortage of evidence available that introverts can be highly successful people. In fact, there is already a strong history of introverts who have done just that. This includes former U.S. Presidents, First Ladies, artists, writers, and business men and women.

One such person is lecturer and author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking and Quiet Revolution: Unlocking the Power of Introverts, Susan Cain. Cain has enjoyed great success in her own right as an introvert and believes introverts are poised for great success as business owners and more. You just need to learn how to make your mark. Here you will find 20 ways you can be a successful business owner as an introvert.

1. Learn to network on your own terms.

Networking is a constant struggle for introverts. Unfortunately, when you own your own business it’s necessary to make connections that will build your business. The good news is you can find ways to network that work for you. Some people prefer to network through social media, online message boards, forums, or through small groups and organizations.

2. Find amazing mentors and work with them.

Starting your own business is stressful. There are a lot of moving parts to manage. Working with a mentor not only gives you access to advice and guidance from someone who has been there and done that but it also offers you an opportunity to interact one-on-one which is where you often shine.

3. Accept help when offered and delegate when necessary.

Anytime someone is willing to help you grow your business, it’s a great thing. Once you reach a point where you have employees working for you, don’t hesitate to delegate tasks that pull you away from the focus of growing your business and cultivating key relationships with clients, vendors, and staff.

4. Schedule your own time-outs and opportunities to recharge.

Even when working long hours to build your business, as an introvert, you will need time away from the crowd so you can relax and recharge. It isn’t merely a matter of resting. It’s about finding quiet moments away from the “noise” and chaos of owning and operating a business and interacting with so many other people. This is a must. Even if you need to pencil it in, your business will be better off as a result.

5. Don’t try to change who you are. Work to your strengths instead of focusing on your weaknesses.

So many introverts allow others to convince them it is necessary to change in order to own a successful business. The truth is, the traits that are essential to your nature as an introvert can be essential to your success in business. Don’t change in order to achieve success; simply find a way to make your own noise in a world that always seems to be talking.

6. Choose a business that works for you.

One of the biggest gifts you can give yourself as an introverted entrepreneur is a career path that plays to your strengths rather than firmly planting you outside of your comfort zone. There are many careers that are ideal for people who are introverted by nature. SmallBizTrends offers an impressive list that includes a few careers you might find appealing, such as:

·       Woodworking

·       Gardening

·       Accounting

·       Dog walking, grooming, etc.

·       Blogging

·       Creating apps

·       Translating services

·       Seamstress/Tailor

·       Virtual assistant

·       Editor

·       Psychiatrist/Counselor

·       Illustrator

·       Visual artist (pottery, painting, sculpting, etc.)

As you can see, there are plenty of career choices that allow you to start your own business and grow it without stepping too far outside of your natural tendencies as an introvert.

7. Avoid making rash decisions.

This is something most introverts do instinctively. However, you could be pushed or prodded into doing something for your business that you haven’t thought through yet if you aren’t careful. Don’t let that happen to you. Take your time and carefully consider your options when making decisions that affect your business.

8. Surround yourself with the right people.

Surround yourself with people you can trust, first and foremost. These are the people you’re building your business with. Beyond that, surround yourself with people who have different skillsets and characteristics than you. This allows you to get sage advice from the people who work for you and is essential when it comes to areas where you have less experience or knowledge. It can be one of the most important business decisions you’ll make.

Do you have introvert qualities?

Did you know that some of our best known leaders, thinkers, and artists consider themselves introverts?  Get this FREE ASSESSMENT workbook and reflect on your personality so you can:

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9. Master the fine art of building relationships.

Building relationships is essential in the world of business. You must build relationships with the customers who buy your products or use your services. You must also build relationships with the people who work with you, vendors who serve your business needs, and others who can help you grow your business over time. It takes dedication and work for introverts, who tend to keep their “tribes” small, but the rewards are huge for your business and they offer you opportunities to grow your tribe a little bit in the process.

10. Adapt when necessary.

Adapt and overcome. These are two of the most important life skills you’ll ever learn. Introverts do not excel at the traditional methods of growing businesses. This means you must adapt your business model to account for that and seek new ways to help your business grow. The faster you begin incorporating new ideas for growth and expansion into your business model, the sooner you’ll be able to reap the rewards of doing so.

11. Consider partnering with charismatic extroverts.

Steve Wozniak is a man not everyone has heard of. However, he is the brains behind one of the most successful brands in modern history: Apple. Most people equate Steve Jobs with the brand. If Wozniak was the brains behind the brand, Jobs was its face. Steve Wozniak is a famous introvert while the far more charismatic Jobs was very much the quintessential extrovert. This partnership made both men fantastically wealthy and counted among the most successful in their industry. While you may not have a Steve Jobs to partner with, you can find your own Mr. or Ms. Charisma to help you get the attention your brand needs to grow while you are left to be the creative genius behind the scenes.

12. Go one-on-one whenever possible.

You are much better at working with people one-on-one than dealing with large or medium sized groups. Go to that familiar territory and let your own spark shine. Working with customers individually makes them feel special and valued in a way that large group discussions will never accomplish. More importantly, it allows you to be completely in your comfort zone so you can focus on the task at hand instead of how uncomfortable you are.

13. Play up your strengths.

Do what you do best and do it well. Ultimately, that is what will set you apart in business. Let your strength be the main selling point for your organization and don’t let others convince you to focus on your weaknesses, or the areas where you are less confident. Your strengths make you special. Confidence can be built over time. If you’re faking confidence you don’t feel, however, you risk coming across as inauthentic with your target audience and that could alienate the very people you’re attempting to bring into the fold.

14. Improve your communication skills.

Take classes on public speaking to help you deliver better lectures. Improve your writing with online courses. Listen intently and make sure you’re sending the appropriate messages in response. The more effectively you communicate with your employees, vendors, and customers the better it is for your continued success.

15. Start small when building your business.

Rome wasn’t built in a day. Neither, in fact, were Apple, Microsoft, Nike, or Pizza Hut. It takes time and dedication to build a business. One thing most big businesses have in common, though, is that once upon a time, they were small businesses.

Don’t try to make your first million dollars in your first year. Instead, focus on incremental, sustainable growth over time. This gives you plenty of room to grow and helps you keep the focus on providing the best products and/or services every step of the way.

16. Define your own style. It’s your business; make it your own.

You’re pouring your heart and soul into building your business. There are pieces of you in every aspect of your business. Don’t fret over the secrets to success someone else followed 10 or 20 years ago to succeed. Define your own style and own that style as you build your business.

That doesn’t mean you should not be willing to take advice or be coachable. It does mean that you shouldn’t have to change major aspects of who you are to accommodate someone else’s idea of what your business should be.

17. Use the Internet to grow your business and reach new audiences.

Introverts today have one tool that wasn’t widely available to help you grow your business two or three decades ago. It may be the single most important tool for introverts to wield when growing a business. It is the World Wide Web. The Internet offers substantial opportunities for growth and success that weren’t available in the not-so-distant past, especially with the wildfire growth of social media.

Use the Internet as an essential platform for growing your business. For introverts, the Internet is the perfect tool for reaching out to others without requiring your physical presence.

Do you have introvert qualities?

Did you know that some of our best known leaders, thinkers, and artists consider themselves introverts?  Get this FREE ASSESSMENT workbook and reflect on your personality so you can:

• Project Success on Your Terms
• Network and Build Partnerships
• Play up your strengths and adapt

YES! I want this!

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18. Live outside of your comfort zone.

Your comfort zone is something you’re going to have to plant firmly in your past for success in business, however. It doesn’t matter if you’re an introvert or an extrovert. Every successful business owner has to, on occasion, embrace the other side of the equation to make things happen for your business. In fact, you’ll find it happens more often than you care to admit.

Something else happens, though, when you do step outside your normal comfort zone and routines. You grow; not only as a business owner or entrepreneur, but as a person as well. The rewards may be epic if you allow them to be.

19. Listen to your intuition when it’s trying to tell you something.

One thing introverts have going for them is an incredible ability to listen. Most of the time your impressive listening abilities are tuned outward to other people in your circle. However, when you’re working to grow your business you need to learn to listen to yourself and your own instincts as keenly as you listen to the advice and recommendations of others around you. Don’t dismiss it when your intuition is trying to tell you something. You may regret pushing that tiny voice aside.

20. Be intentional every step of the way.

Social media offers excellent opportunities to grow your business. However, it can become a trap you set for yourself if you’re not careful and thoughtful in what you say in social media circles. Resist the urge, for instance, to overshare. In a politically charged climate, it could do more harm for your business than good to share your political thoughts, religious affiliations, and other information some may deem too personal. By the same token, having a plan in place for your actions as a business owner is as important as your word on social media. Be intentional in the actions you take on behalf of your business to achieve sustainable growth.

Yes, you, too, can be a successful business owner even if you are a dedicated introvert. These 20 ways will help but your natural tendencies for thoughtful discourse, mindfulness, and careful listening will be your biggest assets moving forward.

Making 2021 YOUR Year: Volunteering

Pay It Forward: 5 Ways to Volunteer Your Time and Create Meaningful Change  

With time being one of your most precious resources, it stands to reason that you should want to spend it doing something that makes you feel good inside and out. Volunteering is a great way to give back to your community while also benefiting yourself in the process. By becoming a volunteer, you’ll be able to create lasting friendships, build new skills, and support worthwhile causes that benefit those who need help the most. The best part is, it doesn’t have to take a ton of time to make a big impact. Here are 5 unique ways you can pay it forward and give back to create meaningful change as a volunteer.

1.      Clean Your Community: Take pride in your community and show some love by simply keeping it clean. Organize a clean-up crew with family, friends, and neighbors to pick up trash around your neighborhood or join a bigger organization in your local area and expand your service to different parts of the city. Grab a trash bag, some gloves, or pick up sticks and scout the local parks, beaches, riverfronts or any random sidewalk for litter, graffiti, broken glass, or other types of rubbish that tarnish your view. You’re creating a positive impact on your community that leaves you with a sense of accomplishment long after you’re done collecting trash.

2.      Be an Animal Advocate: Humans aren’t the only ones needing help from time to time. If you adore animals, there are numerous ways to help out those furry, four-legged friends. Sign up to be a volunteer at your local shelter where you can spend time caring and playing with the “oh so happy to see you” residents or simply donate items like food or toys according to their current needs. Kick it up a notch and open your home to fostering an animal that is waiting for permanent adoption or becomes part of a rescue program where you can help find suitable homes for dogs and cats alike. You’ll never regret the time spent trying to make a better life for these sweet furballs.

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3.      Clothing Drive: Organizing a clothing drive is a great way to help out the homeless population in your community as well as families who just don’t have the necessary items to get through the different seasons. First, decide what you will be collecting – if cold weather is around the corner, you may want to focus on winter coats, jeans, gloves, hats, etc. Set a date/time and make it easy for people to donate – be willing to do pickups in your free time. It will make it that much more enticing for people to donate. Next comes the fun part! Offer a simple reward for those who make a donation – cookies and hot chocolate are hard to pass up! Remember to spread the word and share what you are doing and what you are trying to accomplish. Not only are you helping those in need but cleaning out your closet in the process. Win-win!

4.      Serving Seniors: There are so many ways to volunteer and help the elderly residents in your community. Spend time at a local nursing home playing board games, reading books, or simply chatting the afternoon away with a resident or two. On their birthday, send them a bouquet of flowers or a birthday card with a sweet note (and don’t forget a piece of cake). Make an effort to really get to know the older generation who has spent so much of their time and energy paving the way for us. You may just learn a thing or two and start seeing the world with a whole new set of eyes.

5.       Become a Tutor: If you have the heart of a teacher, becoming a tutor is a great way to serve the people in your community, young and old alike. You can go down the academic path and help a high school student with geometry or algebra or provide life-changing English/literacy lessons to an adult. Help someone become more comfortable using the internet or teach someone how to take really amazing nature photos. Take note of your own skillset – what are you really good at? What do you enjoy? There are so many in-demand skills that could benefit so many people in your community. Sharing your gifts, talents, and knowledge in the form of tutoring can make a huge impact on someone’s life.

Volunteering is a great way to meet new people, build your skills and make your community a better place. Search out opportunities and give some of your time to support those causes you care about.

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👉Prioritize Yourself in the Morning

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👉Get Some Perspective to Your Day

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How to Prepare for Your Job Interview

Are you ready?

You've updated your resume and cover letter.  You've done the online application.  You let your references know that you were looking at this position.  And you finally landed the job interview!  Congratulations!

Now what? 

Exactly.  Preparing for a job interview is almost more work than just applying for the job.  You want to get it, don't you?  Then you need to go above and beyond all the other candidates and prepare as best you can for that interview.  Because you want to sound like you know what you're talking about.  You want them to know that you are competent and ready to do the work.  You want to answer all the questions correctly and impress people.

And you need to know that you are interviewing for the job that will suit you the best.

Because landing the job that will become your vocation - getting yourself into a career that feeds your passion - isn't easy.  And it also isn't automatic.  The job for which you're interviewing might have the perfect title and the perfect salary.  But are you certain that it's the perfect employer?

That's why we gotta research!  There may be questions during your job interview you can be better prepared to answer.  You may learn something about the company that surprises you.  It will be important to understand what comes with the position besides the salary.  And guess what?  This research project is easier than ever because of the internet.

But you knew that already because you are reading this blog and not a library book.

Carve out enough time between scheduling and attending the job interview to do your research.  You may need to skip happy hour with your friends, or save all your shows for streaming or the DVR later.  Are you ready?  Let's go!

Rock Your Next Job Interview!

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Research Topic #1:  What does the company stand for?

Mission statement!  Find the mission statement which could be on a home page, could be on an "about us" page, or could be on a welcome message from the President or CEO.  Charles Schwab has an amazing page dedicated to this, and you can view that here.

Chico Bag has a page dedicated to Core Values, which is another way to get to know what a company stands for.   You can view that page here.

Research Topic #2:  Organization Chart

This may be a little harder to find, but many companies have some sort of organization chart or company structure description on the website somewhere.  Why do you want to know this?  You would like to see where you fit in the overall scheme of the company.  If you are really at the bottom of the ladder, it helps to know that going in to the interview; but the job you are pursuing may be higher up the ladder than you thought!   Is the organization top heavy?  Are there many layers between you and the CEO?  How many of "you" will there be, anyway?  Just one?  Or thirty?

(If you can't find an organization chart on the website, this could be a question you ask when it's your turn.)

Research Topic #3:  Benefits

Go to the employers human resources section and look up the health and welfare benefits that are offered.  You may find nice little bonuses or factors you need to take into consideration.  One of my employers covered insurance for me as the employee, but didn't cover my spouse in the manner.  I had to pay for his benefits outright, and the cost was more than I'd expected.  Those things matter, especially when you are looking at the value of your compensation package.  You can also find things like vacation, sick time, floating holidays, and which federal/state holidays are recognized by your potential new employer.

Research Topic #4:  What is that company proud of?

This should be something featured all over the home page - what they are known for, how innovative they are, how famous their scientists and researchers are, etc.  You want to land a job there, so you should insure that you can share how you can contribute to all these major successes of the company.  How can YOU support those famous scientists, or contribute to the innovation?

Research Topic #5:  Who's the Boss?

This is another thing that may be hard to discover on the web page.  The job posting may suggest who the position reports to, so if you can find that and then search that job title on the employer website, that may get you some intel.  If you have read my book or have followed my other posts, you may already know I believe strongly in cultivating a positive relationship with your supervisor.  I agree with Tom Rath in WELLBEING that having a good boss is just as important as having a good doctor.  Again, if you can't find that on the web, then make sure you are able to ask the question during your interview.

Research Topic #6:  Speaking of Questions....

Once some of your research is complete, you'll want to begin preparing the questions YOU want to ask during the interview.  I will admit that I've been spoiled - in the majority of my higher education positions, I have been given the full job interview itinerary as well as who is sitting on the panel.  This has given me opportunities to ask different populations of staff different questions.  The questions I would ask the Dean are completely different than what I would ask a panel of student leaders.  Be inquisitive, because you really want to know this stuff.  But don't be pushy.  Preparing twenty questions might be a little bit of overkill, but this is your chance to interview them as well.  If I only have time to ask one question, this is my favorite:

"What do each of you enjoy the most about working here; and what is one thing you would change if you could?"

In my years of job searching and interviewing (remember, I have taken 9 jobs at 9 different colleges over a 20+ year period...), I have found that this one question lets me know a good cross-section of the things that make employees happy as well as the things that bother them.  And if I hear the same thing more than once, I mark that down.

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Research Topic #7:  Who do you know?

You may very well know someone who knows someone who works at this company or previously worked at that company.  Find out if this is someone you can contact to ask some questions.  They may not want to share things with you, and that's okay; the level of disclosure could also tell you something about that employer.  If they are willing to share and very open about it all, then most likely they had a good experience with that company.  They may also tell you outright that they did not have a good experience with the company.  But keeping details close to the vest would be a slight red flag for me.

For one of my interviews I had done a good amount of research and knew of the person who would be my supervisor.  But this person was not active in my professional association, so I asked around.  I wanted to know how this person's peers thought of the management style and support of that supervisor.  The information was helpful and I was well prepared for that interview.

Research Topic #8:  Relocating

This should have been clear in the job description OR of course you knew ahead of time that while you live in New York, you applied for a job in Chicago.   If you are relocating, what does that experience look like?  Do you feel confident that you can find housing?  Can you afford a certain kind of housing based on your salary?  Are you able to learn on the position description if relocation expenses are covered, or partially covered?  AND - if they are paying the expenses for your job interview - like flying you from New York to Chicago and putting you up in a hotel - you will want to know if you are responsible for repayment later if an offer is made and you turn it down.

I feel confident that I've covered a good amount of suggestions that will get you up and running to prepare for that interview.  As you are doing your research, you may even come up with other things that belong on this list!  If you do, please share them.

What I didn't cover in this post?  Anticipating what questions will be asked of your DURING the interview.

That will be a post in itself!

What concerns do you have about preparing for the interview?  Let's hear them!

Making 2012 YOUR Year: 5 Ways Your Can Transform Your Life by Helping Others

The Secret of Happiness: 5 Ways You Can Transform Your Life by Helping Others

In the busy rush of daily life, we often get so caught up in going after what we think we want that we forget about one of the main reasons we are here on this planet – to help others and make the world a better place. We have a huge opportunity to change someone else’s life for the better by making space for them and giving some of our time and energy. However, by doing this, you can also improve your life as well. Here are 5 simple ways that helping others can help you transform your own life today.

1.      Builds Gratitude: Nothing will shift your perspective faster than helping someone who desperately needs a hand up in life. When you see another person’s challenges firsthand, your problems will most likely seem minute in comparison and immediately makes you realize how blessed you truly are. For example, living in a cramped house or eating leftovers doesn’t seem so bad when you look through the eyes of a homeless person who hasn’t had a good meal in days. Not being able to take that vacation you’d planned on doesn’t seem like such a letdown when you realize there is a single mom struggling to feed her kids. Helping someone else can quickly put life into perspective and give you fresh outlook on your own life.  

2.      Boosts Self-Esteem: When you lend a helping hand and see the impact you can have on someone else’s life, it gives you a confidence boost you won’t get anywhere else. You begin to see that you have value and purpose in the world – something you may have struggled to see before. You start to create a more positive relationship with yourself because you clearly see the benefit you’re providing, and it just FEELS good. Knowing that you are making someone’s life a little easier also helps to restore your faith in your own abilities as well as all of mankind. One person really can make a difference.

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3.      Connection: Helping others can begin to fill a void that has been lost in a world full of technology and social media overload. Humans are social creatures by nature, and we need each other to feel connected and part of something bigger than ourselves. Whether you are helping someone one on one or supporting a cause that is impacting a larger issue, you begin to feel much more connected to the human race and the world as a whole. Being of service to others allows you to form a strong bond with people from all walks of life and create relationships that will stand the test of time.

4.      Reduces Stress:  Let’s face it: The state of the world these days is enough to put anyone into a downward spiral of stress and anxiety. It’s easy to feel helpless when it comes to solving the major problems that continue to burden our planet. However, reaching out a hand to help someone in need can take some of the weight off your shoulders and reduce the stress that comes from doing nothing at all. When you place your focus on making someone else’s situation better, it’s much easier to put the rest of the world’s problems on the backburner and all the stress that goes with it.

5.      More Positivity: It’s easy to let negativity seep in when you look around and see so much doom and gloom in the world. However, when you make an effort to help someone else, it pushes those negative thoughts and feelings to the side and allows you to focus more on the good. Knowing that you are making an impact in someone’s life is the ultimate mood booster and can really flip the switch on your attitude and outlook. The more positive energy you put out in the world, the more you get back. It’s a win win.

Whether you pay it forward in the drive thru, offer your smile to a stranger on the street or volunteer at a local food bank, you are transforming your own life as you try to help others do the same.

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Making 2021 YOUR Year: 5 Unique Acts of Kindness that Will Make Even the Most Negative Person Smile

We’ve all dealt with that person before – the one who has nothing good to say, constantly complains and releases a ton of negative energy into the world. It’s easy to let someone like this bring you down and ruin your day. It’s even easier to respond with more negativity. However, what you put out into the universe always comes back to you. For this reason, when you find yourself dealing with a Debbie Downer, it’s even more important to try and respond with love and kindness, no matter how frustrated you may feel. The best part? It’s super simple to shine some positivity and light into their day. Here are 5 unique acts of kindness that will make even the most negative person smile.

1.      Write a note (or two): There are so many ways little notes can help to brighten someone else’s day. Try leaving a sticky note in a library book with a positive message, send some encouraging words to a child that you know is struggling or being bullied at school or write a thank you note to a service member overseas. These simple words of kindness can impact someone’s life in profound ways – don’t hesitate to put them out there in the world. You have no idea how many lives you can impact through this ripple effect of kindness.

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2.      Adopt a Grandparent:  Many senior living facilities and nursing homes throughout the world offer a program where you can sign up to adopt a grandparent. This program was born with the hope that it would help the elderly residents without loved ones of their own combat feelings of loneliness and isolation by spending time with the younger generation. On the flip side, this wonderful program gives younger people a chance to meet, interact and learn about life through a different, more experienced set of eyes. You can always check with your local nursing homes to see if this program is offered near you. If not, donating flowers, writing a letter or sending a card to a lonely resident is always the next best thing.

3.      Go Grocery Shopping: The grocery store is a perfect place if you want to spread some much needed kindness. An obvious suggestion would be to buy groceries for a family member, friend, neighbor or co-worker who may be struggling. However, there are other unique ways to put a smile on someone’s face that won’t have you buying a thing. For example, try placing a coupon or two near an item that is for sale, allow someone to cut in front of you in line or offer to help carry someone’s groceries to their car. Compliment the grocery cashier or say something encouraging to the frazzled mom with a toddler throwing a level five tantrum. There are always opportunities to turn someone’s day around in a more positive direction.

4.      Be Neighborly: Helping out a neighbor or two is the perfect way to spread kindness right outside your own front door. During those cold winter months, shovel their snow filled driveway or scrape the ice off their windshield when they aren’t looking. During Spring and Summer, rake up some leaves or mow their grass before they get home. If outside work isn’t your thing, bake some cookies, make up some freezer meals for a new mom down the street or simply offer to have them over for dinner. This is a great way to meet new neighbors as well as reconnect with those you haven’t spoken to in a while.

5.      Create Care Kits: A great way to spread love at a moment’s notice is to have care kits on hand at all times. Start with gallon size freezer bags and throw in some snacks, sample size toiletries and other items like socks, gloves (during the winter), and water bottles. Put together a bunch of these and keep them in your car at all times. In the event that you see a homeless person or someone who just seems to be struggling, offer them a care kit as a small boost of encouragement. You can even include a positive message or encouraging words to lift them up in their time of struggle. 

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There are opportunities everywhere to spread love, kindness and positivity – these are just a few that will hopefully inspire, uplift and put a smile on someone’s face today.

3 Reasons Why Knowing Your Personality Traits Can Lead to Success

Inc. Magazine recently reported that the old standards of money, IQ, and even education have far less to do with success than personality. In fact, brain power has a nearly miniscule affect on your likelihood for success, with high IQs only factoring into the success equation for one to two percent of people. Grades and achievement tests were much better predictors of future success than IQ, though not as much as personality.

These are three reasons why knowing your specific personality traits can help you achieve greater success.

1. Knowledge is Power

It really is that simple. One interesting point the Inc. article made, however, is that personality isn’t something that is set in stone. You can, and often do, change your personality and, by doing so, your path to success.

Knowing your personality traits – those characteristics that are natural tendencies for you – gives you unparalleled power over your future success. You learn to recognize positive personality traits that lead to success while also learning how to overcome potential adversities and natural tendencies that might hinder your efforts.

2. Understand Other People Better

The desire to “know thyself” was deeply embedded in Ancient Greek culture, largely because by knowing oneself, you are better able to understand the motivations and actions of others. It isn’t merely about the ability to empathize with others, but also to anticipate the actions of others. In business, the ability to understand what motivates and drives other people can be a distinct advantage. However, failing to understand what motivates and drives you, above all others, places you at a disadvantage.

Fortunately, there are many personality tests and profiles you can take online, including the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), which is one of the most thorough and respected today. Not only does it help you identify your own personal strengths and weaknesses. It provides you with information and insights on how to use your strengths to your advantage. It does this while offering insights on how to overcome certain weaknesses or position yourself in industries and careers where they aren’t as detrimental. All leading up to a more successful future for you.

3. Identify Areas Where You Are Pre-Dispositioned for Success

Finally, while understanding your personality traits provides you with great power over how to use your natural tendencies to further your success, it also provides you with insights about which career paths will serve you best according to your natural tendencies. That doesn’t mean an introvert cannot become a public speaker or an excellent sales person despite his or her best tendencies. It does mean, however, that by knowing you’re naturally introverted, those fields may present greater challenges for you. By the same token, it can also reveal that fields that require careful thought and consideration may be outstanding choices for you, such as engineering, research, hard sciences, etc.

Ultimately, knowing your personality traits allows you to position yourself to achieve greater success by revealing weaknesses along your path, identifying your strengths, and helping you understand others you encounter along the way.

Which Side Hustle is Best for YOU?

You've made up your mind - a Side Hustle is imminent. But where do you begin? A passion or interest area is important, but then what?

Take this FREE quiz and discover:

✮How to choose the best side hustle so you can get started right away

✮Which gigs require more or less overhead, so you don't waste money

✮Why it's important to focus on one area so you can make the most of your time and get results.

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Making 2021 YOUR Year: 3 Steps to Creating New Habits

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Let’s talk about forming new habits. We all have times in our lives where we intentionally want to change our behavior for the better and create new habits for ourselves. This could be getting in the habit of eating healthier and drinking more water. Or it could be moving more and taking the dog for a daily walk. Or it could be work-related, or spiritual. or other. There are so many areas in our lives that could be improved and made easier if we created new habits.

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Getting into the habit of doing something is often easier said than done. We seem to acquire bad habits without any effort, but getting into a ìgoodî habit can be a little more challenging.

Let’s break it down into a three-step process that makes it easy to follow until weíve internalized the new behavior and made it a true habit ñ something we do automatically without having to think about, like brushing our teeth.

Decide What You Want To Do

The first step is to decide what you want that new habit to be. Be as specific as possible. Dont’ just tell yourself you want to exercise more. Instead, say something like, “I will go for a 30-minute walk every single day!” Deciding what your new habit will be and committing to when and how youíre going to do it, is half the battle.

Remind Yourself To Get It Done

The next few days should be smooth sailing. You’re motivated and excited to get this done. Sticking to your new habit isnít an issue. But a few days in you’ll notice that it’s easy to slip back into old habits.

Maybe it’s raining and you donít really want to go out and walk. Or maybe your day just gets away from you. This is when it’s important to have a daily reminder. Set an alert on your phone or add the new habit to your daily to-do list for a while.

Make It Part Of Your Routine Until It Becomes A Habit

This brings us to the last step. It takes some time before a new behavior becomes a true habit. Until then, a routine will work to your best advantage. Even before the new behavior becomes automatic, a routine will help you get it done without having to spend a lot of willpower or relying on daily reminders.

Make that daily walk part of your after-dinner routine, or change from grabbing a snack at the vending machine at work at 10:00 in the morning to packing a healthy snack.

Congratulations! Decide to create the new habit, practice the routine until it’s second nature and youíll be well on your way to forming a new good habit.

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Making 2021 YOUR Year: 5 Websites that Will Inspire You to Make an Impact on the World

If we learned ANYTHING in 2020, we learned to make connections and foster engagement any we could. And technology make that happen this year. Since the explosion of technology, we are more connected than ever before to opportunities that allow us to leave our mark and make a difference in the world.

However, with all the information out there, it may be overwhelming and hard to know where to begin. Great news! The ability to be a world changer is right at your fingertips. Whether you are looking for ways to volunteer, donate to a good cause or simply find a rally to attend, there is a website to help get you started. Here are 5 great websites that will help you start making an impact in the world today.

1.      The Greater Good: When you visit greatergood.com, you become part of an online community that focuses on helping people, pets and the planet – the perfect trifecta if you want to start making a bigger impact. There are a number of cause sites associated with the greater good – from animal rescue to feeding the hungry to protecting the rainforests, you can take action by viewing sponsored ads, shopping their store, or even making a direct donation. This is a great way to raise money or contribute to a cause that is near and dear to your heart, all the while knowing you’re making a difference for the greater good.

2.      Care 2: If you want the ability to rally people together and start a movement that will create real change, give care2.com a try. You can start a petition yourself or support others in an effort to fight for a common cause. It takes only minutes to start building your own campaign for human rights, the environment, animal rights, gender equality, health, racial justice and more.  You’re able to see current petitions that are trending as well as success stories that have made an impact on the world already. If you’re completely new to the petition world, there is a help section to get you started. Within seconds, you can start creating lasting change that will have a positive impact on the world around you.

3.      Sevenly:  If you want to make a difference in the world but you also like to shop, you’re going to love sevenly.org. Sevenly began with the intention to lead a movement of generosity, spreading their core belief that all people matter through advocacy apparel and accessories. These items not only serve as part of a wardrobe but also create awareness and conversation for important causes such as bullying, women’s rights, autism, suicide prevention and so much more. Sevenly pledges $7 to selected non-profits with every purchase during their signature 7-day campaigns. You can add some cute apparel to your closet while providing valuable awareness and funding to those causes that are important to you.

4.       Volunteer Match:  If you’re looking to find volunteer opportunities in your local area or even virtually, volunteermatch.org has got you covered. Volunteer match helps to connect people with the organizations and non-profits that are in need of help. This is a quick and easy way to get you involved with a cause that you care about and it’s super simple to sign up. You can start your search locally, but you can also take advantage of the numerous virtual opportunities as well. Volunteering is a great way to connect with like-minded people who want to change the world, one person at a time. Especially while living in the age of Covid-19, there are very specific ways to get involved to help move our country forward to beating this pandemic. Click HERE to learn more.

5.      Doing Good Together: The main focus of doinggoodtogether.org is to create kinder, more empathetic children and to provide families and organizations with the tools and resources they need to make giving back a normal way of life. You’ll learn how you can volunteer as a family to support a cause you care about, how to start a conversation that matters, and how to bring more mindfulness and gratitude into your daily life. You’ll find support and tips on how to parent with purpose while teaching your children to be more compassionate, giving and engaged in the world around them. This is a great site if you want to build a strong family foundation rooted in kindness and empathy.

These are just a few websites that will get you started on the road to making a bigger impact in your community and the world. No matter how much time you have or how big or small you want to go, there are so many opportunities to make a difference.

What It Means to Me to be a 9-to-5 Side Hustler

2020 was a year of many things.  A shit ton of crappy things, but some pretty cool things too. 

Like writing and publishing my third book.  Which I never intended to do in 2020.  But it seemed like the right thing to do at the time.  And it opened the door for me to have a very serious conversation with myself about where I take my business next.

You’ve heard “The riches are in the niches.”  Well, I finally got hit over the head so hard by that concept (thank you, Lindsay Maloney) that I nailed it.  I mean, REALLY nailed it.  And now that I’m putting my time and effort into all you full time, career professionals who are looking to find time for your side hustle, I think it’s about time I told you what I mean by that.

FIRST OF ALL:  

Let me tell you about the incredibly taxing conversation I had in my head about my title:  “The 9 to 5 Side HUSTLER.”  

“Kris, that’s just a little bit polarizing.”

“People are going to think about Larry Flynt and strippers.”

“No one says ‘Side Hustlers,’ they say “Side Hustle.”

And so on, and so on, and so on.

And then I happened upon Ramit Sethi’s website…which was not on accident.  While he’s a stark raving millennial, I’m a crotchety Gen X’er, but I love his work, his writing, his sense of humor.  Ramit is a genius.  

I read his book, “I Will Teach You to Be Rich,” when my sister (same sister in the dedication) shared her Audible account with me.  I had heard Gen X friends of mine tell me that I would not enjoy this book; that Ramit was kind of a snot.  But as you’ll learn shortly, I have had money mindset issues for years.  I listened to Ramit’s book and learned something cool about him which applied directly to some of what I do in my day job.

Which Side Hustle is Best for YOU?

You've made up your mind - a Side Hustle is imminent. But where do you begin? A passion or interest area is important, but then what?

Take this FREE quiz and discover:

✮How to choose the best side hustle so you can get started right away

✮Which gigs require more or less overhead, so you don't waste money

✮Why it's important to focus on one area so you can make the most of your time and get results.

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In that day job, I run a scholarship program at a community college (among other things), and Ramit’s story about preparing for college and applying for scholarships is quite impressive.  

Ramit’s parents told him that if he was going to go to college, he’d need to apply for a lot of scholarships.  So he did.  He went to his high school counseling office every day and looked up scholarship applications.  He spent 1-2 hours every day working on scholarship applications.  He found his niche in how to write scholarship essays (write about what his peers would NOT write about).  By the time Ramit was ready for his freshman year, he had earned about $100,000 in scholarships.  He attended Stanford University with no debt.  And then you might say the rest is history.

Anyway - I was looking up this story because I wanted to include it in my Fall 2020 Scholarship Workshop slideshow, and I happened upon one of Ramit’s quizzes.  His “opt-in.”  The lead magnet that’s used to get people onto his mailing list so they will eventually buy things (Which I have been known to do with Ramit and several other online entrepreneurs.    

The quiz I took is called, “What’s Your Earning Potential?”  And I discovered that I fall into a category called “The Hustler.”  

Ramit is quick to explain that I’m not going to be working the blackjack table anytime soon (or playing pool with Fast Eddie Felson, although that would be cool - RIP Paul Newman).  And then he said THIS:

Characteristics of The Hustler.

As a lifelong learner and doer, you don’t need a quiz to tell you that you are constantly trying to improve.  Whether in your personal or professional life, you are always trying to be the best and experience the best life has to offer.  You are never complacent - you are firmly on the path of self-development.

You feel that life is a journey of learning.

You constantly feel like there’s more in life for you and you are always looking for opportunities to grow and learn something new.  Even if you can settle for some periods, there will always be something else to chase - the next big thing for you.

As a Hustler, you…

1.  Know there’s more to life and are always striving for the next challenge.

2.  Are fiercely independent, but you know you can’t do it all yourself.  You work best on a team of A-players.

3.  Are a strong, caring person…but if someone breaks your trust, you are quick to move on.

4.  Are creative, although not necessarily an artist - your creativity often shows up in more subtle and practical ways.

You find yourself often overflowed with ideas.  There’s no shortage of options and ideas for you and often the hard part is to pick the right one at the right moment.  Frustration is not unknown to you as you often struggle to find the right resources to execute on all those great ideas. 

You always end up getting there.

You always find a way to go around whatever is in the way of your goals.  You’re confident that even if you don’t have a direct answer to a problem, you know you’ll find a way to solve it.  

As a Hustler, you’re constantly looking for the smartest way to solve a problem with the minimum amount of time and energy invested.  It’s common for you to have tons of tabs open in your browser.  Watch out, though, as often you find yourself stuck trying to find the “right” option.

Which Side Hustle is Best for YOU?

You've made up your mind - a Side Hustle is imminent. But where do you begin? A passion or interest area is important, but then what?

Take this FREE quiz and discover:

✮How to choose the best side hustle so you can get started right away

✮Which gigs require more or less overhead, so you don't waste money

✮Why it's important to focus on one area so you can make the most of your time and get results.

Drop-in your email below and let's get you on the road to your first Side Hustle!

Send Me to The Quiz!

Thank you!

Your Quiz is on its way!!

Well, shit.  If that didn’t hit me over the top of the head with a cast-iron frying pan and leave me for dead.  I have since read that section of text about a thousand times.  Here’s what always grabs me:

• Lifelong learner and doer - Yup

• Creative although not artistic - You know it.

• Looking for the smartest way to solve a problem with the minimum amount of time and energy invested - oh, hell yeah.

• Strong, caring person - multiple tabs open on the browser - how the fuck did he know??

So, yeah, the title of this book and the person I’m writing about is a total Side HUSTLER.  

Not a Larry Flynt, J-Lo, or New Jack Hustler. 

That’s what Hustler means to me.

P.S. How should you choose your side hustle? With THIS assessment!

How to Have a Difficult Conversation with Your Boss

Scariest. Thing. Ever.

But how many of you have struggled at one point in your life with a supervisor? Surely one or more. I’m so blessed right now because I have an amazing supervisor. Having a supervisor you trust and admire and look to for help and guidance is the most amazing feeling. Tom Rath talks about this in his WELLBEING book. “Having a good boss is just as important as having a good doctor.”  And if we are following that advice, we may come to a place in our career where we need to have a difficult conversation with our boss.

Your doctor is responsible for your physical health, and making sure you take care of yourself. Your boss/supervisor is responsible for your professional health and ALSO making sure you take care of yourself. A supervisor who does not seem invested in this is not worth working for. But that’s easier said than done, I know! You can’t always choose your supervisor. And there may come a time during your tenure in a specific position at a specific company when you struggle with your boss. And you have a choice. You can look for another job; or you can be proactive and strategize a way to talk to your supervisor about your concerns, needs, whatever it is that’s frustrating you. That’s the basis of today’s post.

How to Have a Difficult Conversation with Your Boss

Where to start? I have a multi-phase process on talking to your supervisor. Keep in mind that if you have a great supervisor, you may not need this advice now. If you have a great supervisor, you’ll just know this in your gut – your supervisor knows you better than you know yourself. He/she sees your potential and tries to improve it. They give you exciting projects to take on, and positive feedback regularly. So if your gut is hurting when you think about your boss, then you probably need this post.

DISCLAIMER – the decision to have this conversation is going to be a risk. I want to make sure you know this from the very beginning. This is not a flawless process nor is it a guarantee. But – when done correctly, with respect and dedication, it can really improve your relationship.

Let’s get started. There are several tasks you need to complete and they are going to take time. Don’t read this post and go out and schedule a meeting with your boss tomorrow. You are going to need to reflect, plan, and prepare.

Task #1 – EMOTIONS

Because it’s more than likely a feeling that triggered you, right? Something that was done or said made you feel something negative. Let’s explore this…

You need to write down what is troubling you and/or why you feel detached, why you are frustrated, etc. Write it all down free form and don’t hold anything back. When you have finished doing this writing, put it away and leave it be for a couple days. You are, essentially, purging everything negative from your system, but hopefully it’s not just about how much you hate this person or how mean he or she is. You need to be very specific.

“When my supervisor calls me out in front of the team, I feel shamed and undervalued.”

“When my Director tells me I’m not being reasonable or realistic, I feel disappointed and discouraged.”

“The way my supervisor gives me feedback is making me feel low in my self-esteem and self-worth.”

You see what’s happening here? What’s the pattern in those statements?

When So-and-So Does This, I FEEL This.

See? You are describing the behavior you observe and the feeling you get. Having this conversation with your supervisor cannot be personal; it has to be about behaviors and how they make you feel. You absolutely cannot go into your meeting with your feelings on fire – you need to have very specific things identified so you are NOT emotional.

Task #2 – THEMES

After you’ve let your sadness and anger settle for a few days, dig up your scribbles. Read them through quickly, let it settle, and then read them again, carefully. Have your pen and paper ready to write down themes. What do you notice in your concerns?

Under valued
Not encouraged
Lack of engagement
Micromanagement
Taking credit for YOUR work
Lack of positive feedback
Unrealistic expectations

It pains me to even write these, because my hope is that every manager/supervisor behaves like a leader and avoided these situations.

But I digress. You’ve found your themes. Pick the two (or at very most, three) that have been the most debilitating for you. Now it’s time to qualify them.

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Task #3 – EXAMPLES

Take a piece of paper and make 2-3 columns. Give each column a heading, and write your theme there. Now reflect on specific instances when your supervisor made you feel this way:
Duty Weekend – so-and-so made suicidal ideations – on the duty phone my supervisor yelled at me and hung up.

Staff meeting before the big presentation – i asked a question – he made fun of me

Big event coming up that I was in charge of – she called me three times a day to ask about various details. I couldn’t get anything done

You may find there are several examples or just one BIG example that really got you down. But being able to identify specific situations where you felt uncomfortable or distrusted can help your supervisor understand where you were coming from.

Remember that this process is all about perspective. Chances are, while you are reflecting about these situations, you may even identify behaviors of your own that exacerbated the situation. Which could lead to a totally different conversation with your boss later on.

Task #4 – PREPARATION

You need to outline exactly what you wish to say to your supervisor and it needs to be professional, respectful, and organized. Using your emotions list and your examples list, it’s time to craft ONE TO TWO statements for your meeting.

The statements should be specific to the example (day, time, location if possible), should include a sense of feeling, and then ask a question of what could have been done differently.

“During the week before closing, in our staff meeting, I asked what I thought was a clarifying question about the procedure you wanted us to follow, and you chided me about not understanding. The team laughed, and I felt embarrassed. I am wondering how I might have made this situation less embarrassing for me.”

“The weekend that so-and-so was making suicidal ideations, he/she yelled at me over the phone and hung up on me. While I know I handled the situation incorrectly, this made me feel shamed, frustrated, and disempowered. What should I have done differently so I can prepare for next time?”

In this short statement, you acknowledge that an action made you feel something less than positive (“when you said ___, I felt ___.) And given that this person is your supervisor, the “what could I have done differently” statement keeps you from being insubordinate and encouraging your supervisor to assist you further.

Task #5 – MEETING

Finally. This is when you schedule the time to have your discussion with your boss. You may already have a regularly scheduled One-on-One meeting with your supervisor. If this environment already exists, use this time. It’s safe because it’s your designated time; and if your boss is a super busy director/associate director, etc., it may be the only chance during a week that you have to talk.

If you don’t have a designated time already, then you need to schedule one. Depending on where you work, you may need to arrange this with an administrative support staff, but you may be in a position where an outlook invitation is enough. You know the culture of your department, so proceed accordingly. If you DON’T feel like you know the culture yet, ask your supervisor’s administrative person the best way to schedule such a meeting.

If you are still feeling nervous or uncertain about the meeting, then share your plan with a close friend or a colleague you trust. He might be able to provide you with some additional insight – or provide feedback on your plan. He also might talk you out of it and offer to help you work through the frustration. See what happens – and adjust if necessary. It would not be the worst thing in the world to cancel the meeting if you had to.

On the day of the meeting, dress the role. You are having a professional conversation with your boss, so if that day is a regular “no meeting day” and you might be in jeans or casual dress, change it up and wear something that you might wear if you were meeting with a Vice-President, a Dean, an Upper-Level Manager. Dressing professionally will also give you more confidence during your conversation.

Here’s how you want to outline your conversation:

1. Introduce the conversation:

“I wanted to have a conversation with you because I’ve been feeling somewhat frustrated in my position recently.”

“I have been struggling with something that happened at the last couple of staff meetings, and I felt strongly that I should share it with you.”

“You probably have noticed that I’ve been behaving a little withdrawn or quiet lately, and I wanted to explain myself.”

2. Share the specific experience(s) that have led to you feeling this way – you did this already in the PREPARATION phase.

3. Then…you will be giving your boss the chance to speak. He or she may already be waiting to respond. Or they may be waiting to see if you have anything else to share. But give your supervisor the space now to respond.

And the rest of the conversation is going to happen how it happens. You could experience a variety of possibilities:

a. The supervisor feels terrible and apologizes to you.

b. The supervisor feels aggravated and reprimands you.

c. The supervisor asks you more qualifying questions to get to the heart of the situation.

d. The supervisor laughs in your face.

Once again, you are going to be counting on your gut to tell you if everything is okay. If your gut feels okay, then you can probably thank your supervisor for her time and then either move on to the rest of your one-on-one or leave the office.

If your gut is hurting or having other negative feelings, you are going to have to get your resolve back quickly. And unfortunately, it may mean that you’ll be eating a little crow before you get to leave the room. The best way, in my opinion, to avoid more frustration? Apologize and ask for feedback.

“I’m very sorry that I brought this up. I felt it was important to share my feelings with you. Do you have any suggestions on how I might avoid these reactions in the future?”

“I didn’t mean to behave inappropriately. I was feeling very frustrated about this incident and I felt strongly about sharing that with you. How would you recommend that I work through these issues in the future?”

Regardless of your supervisor’s reactions to your information, you don’t want to leave the room feeling like there is still stuff “out there.” So if that means you have to kiss ass a little…then you have to do that. Because the bottom line is – you still have to work with this person. He or she is still responsible for your professional development.

In many ways, it may seem like I’m ending this blog post on a down note. Again, I will repeat the disclaimer from the beginning: having a conversation of this magnitude can be a risk. In my own experience as a supervisor, I know that if a staff member came to me with these concerns and shared them with me in this manner, I would do everything I could to hear them out and provide them with feedback. I would understand that they took a risk to share these thoughts and feelings, I would congratulate them on being brave enough to talk to me about it.

So I will end this post by saying that I believe in this process for having difficult conversations; should you choose to employ it, you are being a self-advocate and insuring that you are heard, even if nothing changes. You are going to be a different person for taking the chance.

I’m proud of you. Always.

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😊 Define the specific problems you experience without sounding dramatic

😊 Preparing for a meeting without the stress and fear

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Ramp Up Your Morning Routine

About five years ago, I purchased a special Black Friday online package from No Meat Athlete.  It was a great package filled with all sorts of programs and audio and handouts and downloads.  One of the downloads was Jeff Sanders’ “5AM Miracle”.  This came with a full book and a bunch of very cool tracking sheets for daily, weekly, monthly and quarterly recording of habits and goals.  I would say that Jeff’s take on a morning routine was somewhat inspired by Hal Elrod’s audio book, “The Morning Miracle.”   Which I eventually picked up from Audible and digested those words as well.

Between Jeff Sanders and Hal Elrod, I was completely and totally down with the morning routine.  It was a total game changer.  While I was already getting up early to go workout, the added items suggested by these two gentlemen gave me more to do for mind and spirit as well as my body.  And it made a huge difference in the way I approached my day.

Fast forward a year later and my hubby and I were moving from our current rental place to a new place about 15 miles away from my work.  I had been spoiled in the previous house, because I walked to work every day…having to commute by vehicle now AND get in a workout meant I had to change up my morning routine.  Which meant not doing anything but the workout for a while.

It sucked not being able to do my routine for those few months.  And the car commute required me to change my routine as well.  It took awhile to get back to a decent Morning Miracle routine, but I’ve found something that really works for me.

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WHY should you have a morning routine?

Here are a few reasons:

Self Care

Taking the extra minutes to do some good things for yourself each day make a huge difference in your self care and work/life balance.  Especially if your morning routine focuses on mind, body, and spirit.

You Can Actually Gain Time

Having a routine means doing the same things day in and day out…since you’ll be less likely to forget something, you can probably sleep for five more minutes every day!

You’ll be a happier person and more pleasant to be with

According to Melissa Ambrosini – doing something healthy and supportive for yourself each and every day will lower your blood pressure and give you that little bit of oomph.  It boosts your spirit!

Now – what kinds of things can you add to your morning routine?

You can probably brainstorm your own list of tasks that will both put a spring in your step and aid in your peace of mind.  Some suggestions…

1.  Drink a big glass of water

2.  Meditate

3.  Stretch/Do Yoga

4.  Write

5.  Work Out

6.  Do affirmations or visualizations

7.  Eat breakfast

8.  Read

9.  Listen to an audiobook or podcast

10.  Set your intention for the day

I’ve done all of these in some shape or form while perfecting my routine…and it’s a small combo of things for me and things for my hubby.

I wake up around 4am and go make coffee for my hubby   It’s a nice thing to do.

Let the dog out.

Take my vitamins.

Meditate for 8-12 minutes

Write for 5 minutes

Dress for the pool

Eat some breakfast snack

Listen to Erica Mandy’s “The Newsworthy” on the way to the pool

Swim with my team for 1 hour

Shower, Dress and head to work

On the way to work, I listen to whatever audiobook or podcast is carried over from the day before.  I consume a great deal of content in my daily commute even though I really only drive for about 15-20 minutes each way.  And I LOVE taking in all the new information.

But sometimes I do need to rock out and that’s when I sit in the parking lot of my office and whip up a quick little Rush Hour Playlist.  I currently seem to be on a big Queen and Pat Benatar kick.

In any case, this morning routine has really worked for me and I can get my head on straight before turning on the computer and getting to work.

Now, not to be a Debbie Downer, but there are a few things that probably should not be part of your morning routine…for example.

1.  Hitting the snooze button.

Enough said.

2.  Extra cuddling with your dog.

Well, I can’t completely argue against that.  But I will tell you that my sweet mutt, Duke, is the ultimate saboteur.  Damn him.

3.  Pick up your phone and Start the Scroll.

According to Michael McQueen, the author of Momentum: How to Build it, Keep it, or Get it Back, those first ten minutes of day are crucial to the success of our week.   Talking to News.com.au, he said jumping on your phone first thing in the morning puts you in a reactive frame of mind.  Instead, we should be doing something proactive that makes us feel in control.   

“Something simple like making the bed or being grateful for what you achieved the day before can make all the difference,” he said.   “The idea is it’s you deliberately doing something rather doing something unintentionally.” 

4.  Turning on the TV

Stay away from negative news.  tailor your news to positive and uplifting stuff.  Seriously look into The Newsworthy Podcast!!

5.  Getting up at different times each morning

This adorable You Tube video from Thomas Fran is actually quite thoughtful and filled with great tips.  

Go Slow….

This new routine can definitely be a grind, especially if you are not an early riser.  So don’t knock yourself out to suddenly get up 90 minutes early and barrel through a bunch of stuff.

For starters, just set your alarm for ten minutes earlier and try one new thing.  Try that for a week.  Meditate for five minutes and stretch for five minutes.

Or read for five minutes and then eat your breakfast.  Do that a week or so and then add five minutes and wake up 15 minutes earlier.

Mix and match and try a little bit of everything before you settle on your Morning Routine.

So – leave a little note in the comments and tell us what YOUR morning routine is!

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👉Get Some Perspective to Your Day

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Shake It Off: Ten-Minute Routines to Reset Your Day

Are you having a tough day at the office?

Did your best friend just stand you up for lunch?

Was it a rough weekend and you don’t want to be at work?

We all have these days when nothing seems to go right and everything bugs us.  And when things go wrong, when have two choices:  be a baby about it or shake it off.

Okay, that was harsh.  When I say, “Be a baby about it,” what i really mean is that you buy into the bad things that are happening and put off negative energy.  Law of Attraction people would say that you are lowering your frequency.  And this just makes things worse – or just make things seem worse.  So you can do better.

You shake it off.  You might be skilled enough to just tell yourself, “Okay, that was fun, and I’m moving on.”  If you are, good for you!  I’m getting there – but every now and then, I still need a few distractions to help Change My Latitude and My Attitude.  That’s what inspired this post.

So here are Ten “10 minute routines” that you can use to reset your day when the shit hits the fan:

1.  Walk

First of all, just going for a ten minute walk around the block or the campus or the office building or your neighborhood can give you a good pick-me-up and help you shake it off.  An article on Wise Bread outlined ten ways a walk can benefit you, including burning calories, decreasing depression, increasing brain function, and decreasing pain.  What other excuse do you need?

2.  Meditate

Oh, how I love me some meditation.  My practice can use some work, for sure, but I always love how I feel afterwards.  You don’t have to chant or hum or anything like that, you can just sit in silence and let the thoughts come…then go back to the stillness.

There are dozens of meditation podcasts and audiobooks out there if you need something guided to shake it off.  Mind Body Green suggests that ten minutes of meditation can alleviate stress, pain, anxiety, insomnia, and cardiovascular disease.  So once again, what other excuse do you need?

3.  Call someone

Misery loves company.

Just kidding.

A ten minute call with your best friend, significant other, parent or sibling can help you shake it off and get you back to your old self again.  Just call them up, “just because” and you can either share your crappy day with them or just let them know that you love them and miss them. 

[ctt template=”8″ link=”lW62L” via=”yes” ]Connecting with someone you love during a bad day can be a real mood booster. [/ctt]

4.  Close your door

Even just closing your door and removing yourself from the craziness out in the lobby or the department or division can be a nice break.  While you are sitting in silence with your door closed, you could also meditate or make little fists with your toes or read.  Or you can just sit.  And be quiet.  Let the time pass.  Shake it off.  Open the door and go back to the day – but you’ll feel a lot more centered.

5.  “Make Little Fists with Your Toes”

In the early part of the opening scenes of DIE HARD, a stranger on the plane tells John McClain his secret of air travel.  And it’s making fists with your toes.  What you are really doing is tensing up muscles and then releasing the tension.   This is known as Progressive Muscle Relaxation and it’s a widely used practice that really does work!  Shake it off by making those little fists.

6.  Fuel Your Body

Eat.

Sometimes just a little bit of fuel can make the difference.  Or, for that matter, drinking a big glass of water or two.  Dehydration can really be a bugger if you let it go on too long.

I try to have snacks in my office for moments like this – and easy things that are relatively good for you but not super perishable.  Instant oatmeal.  Protein bars.  Granola.  And I always bring one piece of fruit to work each day as well.   I should bring more.

Shake off that bad day with a snack that fuels you and move on.

7.  Read

Due to all of our amazing technology these days, there are things to read EVERYWHERE.  Which means, there are ZERO excuses not to read.  Even if you don’t have a kindle or an iPad, I’ll bet you have a smart phone.  And that smart phone can download an e-book app like Kindle or Nook.  And you can totally find some free e-books out there to read when you need to take a break.

You can also pull something off your shelf that’s related to your industry.  I have a ton of things in my office about fundraising, so when I need a brain reset, sometimes I grab those things to look at because they remind me what I’m doing here and why it’s important.

Or you could read Entertainment Weekly.  I do that too, sometimes.

8.  Listen to a podcast

Oh how I love me some podcasts, too!  And there are SO MANY out there these days – there is literally a podcast for any and everything.  If you just do a search, you can find so much information.

I’m a big fan of Meditation Minis from Chel Hamilton.  They are right about 10 minutes long (even with the short ad) and her voice is quite calming.  This would be the perfect reset to your anxiety-filled day!!

Or – check out those crazy gals on That’s So Retrograde.  This is a health and wellness podcast, but sometimes it’s also a knock down drag out comedy show.  These ladies are hysterical, but they are also filled with a ton of great information about all sorts of health and wellness “stuff”.

Finally, Spirit Purpose and Energy is another favorite of mine – JJ Flizanes is a wonderful host and trainer.  These podcasts have really helped me change my life.

9.  Look at something around you that fills you with joy

I love the movie, “The Quiet Man” with John Wayne and Maureen O’Hara.  Her character, Mary Kate, feels quite strongly about her dowry.  She says to Sean Thornton, ““Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve dreamed of havin’ my own things about me.”  And I feel the same way.  There are things in my office and in my home that I must have around me because they bring me inspiration and remind me of important moments with friends and family.

On a daily basis, I can look at any little trinket in my office and tell you who gave it to me and what significance it brings.  And if I’m having a tough day, I often look at one or more of those things and remember the person it came from.  And then I usually have a big smile to put on my face so I can move on with the day.

10.  Rock out to seriously loud and angry music

I have some favorite songs to rock out to when I’ve had a bad day.  And I usually reserve them for my commute home so that I get my funk out before I hang out with my hubby and dog.

There is something to be said for the catharsis which occurs when music is part of the mix.  But you need headphones if you are going to do this in the middle of the work day, of course; and you’ll probably need to do this with your door closed or possibly on your walk.

BONUS – make a gratitude list about your job

YES – you can.

Especially relevant to this conversation is to remind yourself of all the good things you have at your current gig.  Yes, you totally have them.  Get a sheet of paper and put down numbers one through ten.  And come up with ten reasons why you appreciate your job.  You can say things like “I get a salary” or “I like my parking space”.  But I’m sure you’ll come up with other things, too.

“My boss rocks.”

“I am appreciative of my amazing co-workers.”

“I appreciate that my health benefits are completely covered.”

Get it?  There’s no reason why you can’t find the good in your gig during a tough day.

The next time you are having a cruddy day, pull out this list and pick one so you can have a quick, 10-minute reset.  I’ve done all of these and they all work.  Pick a Reset, do it, and go back to your day.  You CAN do this.  And you won’t have to go home angry.

Unless, of course, you continue on with the angry rocking music thing.  

10 Questions to Ask Yourself About Your Day Job

Happy 2018 everyone! I hope that everyone had a wonderful new year’s eve and that you are looking forward to the year ahead. If you’re like me you’re doing a ton of reflecting and thinking about these next 12 months. What to do about your Day Job?

Consider this:  many of you may be considering a job change or hoping for a promotion. On the other hand, some of you may be trying to add new skill sets to your daily tasks or look at new projects to tackle. Some of you may be struggling with your work/life alignment. And some of you might be ready to throw your hands up and say, “I Give Up!”

Don’t give up yet. There’s some reflection you can do that will help you get back in the game OR set yourself up for a new game, if you know what I mean. Consider these ten questions as they relate to your Day Job…

1. How is my relationship with my supervisor?

In his book WELL-BEING, author Tom Rath suggests that having a good supervisor is as important as having a good doctor. Think about that – your doctor is responsible for your physical health while your supervisor is responsible for your professional health. At least, that’s always the way I approached supervision. How are you currently approaching your weekly one-on-one’s with your supervisor? Do you look forward to them or do you dread them? A meeting with your supervisor SHOULD be an opportunity to learn and receive feedback; so if you aren’t looking forward to these, it may be time to consider why.

2. How well am I getting along with my peers?

This particular question is different from #3…you don’t have to be best friends with all your peers and colleagues, but you should be able to get along with everyone.  Is there a member of your staff or your team who goads you on a regular basis?  Someone who is always late and disrespectful?  A colleague who constantly one-ups you? We all have them – and the reality is that we need to work with these difficult colleagues whether we want to or not. So how can we reconnect with our challenging colleagues and work with them more efficiently? By finding something in common. Approach that tricky person and ask them what they like to do on the weekends. Find anything you both like to do? Talk about that. It’ll melt some of that funk.

3. Do I have a best friend at work?

Again, referencing a Tom Rath book. VITAL FRIENDS discusses the importance of having that one person in the office who you connect with and whose presence is important to your level of positive engagement. It would be harder to come to work everyday without that person around. This person understands you, what you do at the office, what frustrates you, and what inspires you. And you can do the same for her. Some people may call this relationship a Work Spouse, but I think the Best Friend is just a little different. The best friend may not reside in your same department and you may not even see this person every day. Nonetheless, this is your go-to person and you need her to stay engaged.

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4. Am I able to use my strengths and talents in my work everyday?

Part of that work engagement factor can also derive from whether or not you are able to use your super powers at your job on a day to day basis. Does your position allow you to be creative? Do your amazing proofreading skills come in handy? Is your penchant for reconciling bank statements utilized? Can you provide staff development presentations at the drop of a hat? Finally, consider the things you really love to do and come easily to you and ask yourself, “Do I perform these tasks every day?”

5. What new skills did I develop this past year?

I LOVE this question because it is something I can answer on a very regular basis where I work. I am constantly getting new projects that require me to go beyond my scope of expertise and lean in to a new skill set. Even if we are the absolute bomb-diggity at our job day in and day out, we aren’t growing as professionals if we aren’t learning new things. So if you aren’t getting new projects to attack on a regular basis, reach out to your boss and ask for one. Or, consider a new skill that you want to develop because of a professional track you want to follow, and ask your supervisor how to work on that skill.

6. How is my professional growth being supported?

Do you have a professional development budget? Does your supervisor encourage you to register for conferences? Give you books to read? Suggest that you publish this year? Or can you do these things on your own and then talk to your supervisor about them at your one-on-one meetings? You may have the opportunity to present at conferences and travel often; or you may have to seek out your development on your own. But either way, this should be supported whether it’s financially or just having the blessing of your supervisor to go forth and develop!

7. How many hours a week am I working?

There is actually some real history that you can read here to learn more. Henry Ford advanced this idea for Ford Motor Companies in 1914, because he believed that workers were less productive when the worked more hours. There is also data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics stating that unions were created after some companies were abusing their laborers by forcing them to work upwards of 100 hour work weeks. “Limiting” professionals to an 8 hour work day insures that we have the energy and engagement to return to work the next day and continuing being stellar and engaged employees. Or, at least not falling asleep at our work station. However, this is not the current practice for many employees in the US, especially management and non-exempt employees. You have the right and the responsibility to control your work week and keep it at 40 hours. If you can’t do this yourself, you should explore the decisions and options with your supervisor.

8. Do I understand the deductions on my paycheck?

Every year or so I take a peek at my check stub and I have to sometimes call HR and ask about something that appears there. Why does my check say blah-blah-blah, $1.57 deducted? You should definitely know exactly what’s coming out of your check every pay day and why it’s being deducted. Is there a new practice that’s happening and do you understand it? For three years I was forgetting that there are no personal deductions from my check during August and September. Every year I was emailing payroll to find out why my credit union deposit was not being posted.

9. How well do I handle stress at work?

I used to handle it badly. I was a cryer and a passive aggressive little snot when I didn’t get my way and/or had a bad day. Which also often led to stress eating, among other things. Now – I try to consult with my boss when I’m feeling overwhelmed or out of my element. And if I can’t do that then I just close my door or go for a walk. Just a little separation can be the difference between insulting someone or burning a bridge and getting the reset you need to finish the day. Therefore, once you’re home, a long bath or a glass of wine can do wonders!!

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10.  Am. I. Happy. Here?

This is probably the toughest work question to answer. “I got kids to feed, McPeak. Doesn’t matter if I’m happy.”
Except that it does. It matters a lot.
If you are happy, then keep it up. You’ve found something that engages you and keeps you connected. AWESOME. We all want to be able to have a vocation where we connect with our passion.

If you aren’t happy – why not?

Make a list. Go over them one by one. Select the issue that bugs you the most and see what you can do about it. Can you talk to your supervisor? Your Vital Work Friend? Your significant other? Can you change this issue? See what negatives you can knock off or manage on your own.
If you’ve gone over your list and just don’t see anything that you can change – or you’ve attempted the change and it’s just not going to work – well, that’s another blog post. It’s hard to make the decision to leave a position when you are unhappy, but you do owe it to yourself to at least make an effort to find a vocation that fuels your passion. 

Stick with me, kids – we’re gonna go places. Leave a comment – I’ll try to answer them all!

Should I Quit My Job if it Pays Well But Makes Me Unhappy?

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Quit? Why would you quit? Because you’re sad.

Why are you so sad? You’re getting paid, right? You’re getting paid well, right?

I know why you’re so sad.

Because you dread going to work every single day. You spend your lunch hour crying with your office door closed. You go home and drink alone or stress eat like nobody ever stress-ate before. Or just go right to bed and start the cycle all over again.

You want to quit.

The bad news is that this is not an uncommon occurrence for American adults in the work place. A Gallup poll published in September of 2017 stated that 85% of adults worldwide hate their jobs.[1] From this poll, 30% of Americans are engaged at work, which is a better statistic; but this still means that 70% of Americans are not enjoying their 40-plus hours every week at their place of employment.

If you’re one of the 70%, then you have probably considered looking elsewhere to make a living and earn so you can pay your bills. But at what point do you start looking for new work? And at what point do you throw in the towel and just quit? Depending on the intensity of your situation, this could be a fine line or a wide gap.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

1. How Did I Get Here?

2. Why Am I Staying in This Unhappy Job?

3. Questions to Ask Yourself If You’re Unhappy with Your Job

4. Final Thoughts

5. More Resources About Career Change

How Did I Get Here?

In my 25 years working in higher education, I’ve held nine different jobs at nine different colleges and in seven different states. When I say that out loud to others, I sometimes get strange looks…or someone will just say, “Wow.” But my own career trajectory is not that off base of the average American. Balance Careers states that the average employee will change jobs ten to fifteen times with 12 being the standard number of job changes.[2] Meaning I’m below the national average. So take that, Position Tenure Critics.

Still, it would seem odd to intentionally leave a position after 9 months, as I did once back in the early 2000’s. While I did not “quit” that job, I began my exit plan shortly after the fifth month of employment.

Was I unhappy? Not exactly. But I also did not feel supported by my supervisor, and the question of “fit” plagued me on a weekly basis. While my situation was not unbearable day in and day out, there was one major Camel-Back-Breaking-Straw, so to speak, that propelled me into the direction of weekly searches on Higher Ed Jobs.

But I’m very aware that some of you out there are in a situation like I described in the early paragraph of this article and prompted your attraction to read more…before you decide to quit.

Why Am I Staying in This Unhappy Job?

For those of you in the miserable job that makes you cry, drink, and stress eat on a daily basis….how would you answer that question? Do any of these ring a bell?

1. This was the first job you were offered after college or graduate school.

When I was in my final year of graduate school, my friend Lori and I were hell bent on having a job in place before commencement. And I had been dead set on moving to Chicago because that’s my hometown.

I had three great interviews in Chicago, all at private schools. One by one those jobs went away and were offered to other candidates. Now it’s April and graduation is less than a month away. My final interview was at a university in Washington.

When I was offered the job, I considered my choices – take the job or hold out for something else. The latter would have made me the only person in my Hall Manager Cohort without a job at commencement. And I just couldn’t have that.

I took the job and moved to the Pacific Northwest. Got married there, too. And met my best friend there. And left the job after two years. It was a matter of fit.

2. It was the best salary you were offered.

I’ve never had the luxury of choosing a job based on the salary, but plenty of my friends have. In fact, I even gave a friend at my current employer a hard time for choosing salary over quality of life issues.

I can’t tell you not to take a job if the salary is good. But if the salary is the only reason you’re taking that job, then I would try and find one more compelling reason why you should say “yes.”

Make sure that you have something to fall back on if the rest of the job turns out to be horrible.

3. Your friends work there.

Who doesn’t want to work with their friends, right? Especially if one or more of them is having an amazing experience and they are just so excited that you are going to be working there too.

Keep in mind that your friend’s reason for accepting a job may not align with yours. Having that friend at work may be the only blessing at this particular place of employment.

4. Your parents (significant other, mentor, etc.) told you to take it.

Ah…the outside influence. Not always so outside.

It’s tough to tell the people closest to you to bug off when it comes to taking a job. Easy for them to say “go for it,” right? They aren’t the ones who have to go there day in and day out.

Pressure from those closest to us can be really difficult, but in the end it’s your decision. If you find yourself in a job under these circumstances, then you don’t just have to figure out how to get out of the job; you have to figure out how to break the news to the pressure-giver.

5. You were afraid that there would not be any other offers.

You can relate this one back to my story in #1. When you are really desperate to find something because you need to get out of a nasty situation…or if you just get freaking tired of going on interviews, that first offer can be a god-send and let you breathe a sign of relief.

I’ve been down this road. I was not originally planning on leaving Position #7; but when my supervisor told me that this was as far as I could advance in that organization, I thought hard about whether staying was a good idea. I applied for jobs that did have room for advancement as well as higher salaries; and when one was offered to me, “FOMO” (fear of missing out) hit me in the face so hard I couldn’t sleep for two days.

Yup. I took that job. Yup. It was partially a big mistake. But that’s another story for another article.

There are probably another 50 or so answers to the “How Did I Get Here?” question…and you may have more than one that applies.

Questions to Ask Yourself If You’re Unhappy with Your Job

With all that in mind, here are some thoughts related to quitting your day job if you are unhappy but the money is good:

1. What specifically is making you unhappy?

Is it the work itself? The commute to work? Your supervisor? Your colleagues? The salary? That there are no good vending machines or you can’t walk to Starbucks?

Nail down specifically what is making you unhappy. Then – consider whether you have any power over changing those things.

For example, if you don’t like the work itself but you do like your supervisor, then sit down with her and talk through it.. Maybe she just needs to hear you say you aren’t fulfilled in the work. Then you won’t have to quit!

If your colleagues aren’t positive people or you just don’t get along with them, do you have the opportunity to switch teams or move to a different cubicle?

Don’t make the decision to quit if you can’t say why you would be quitting.

2. Is your current career field nourishing your passion and purpose?

I worked in certain facet of higher education and student affairs for more than 20 years; and I’d say for 15 of those years (in different increments), the position was fueling my purpose. And the times when I felt “wrong” in the job was usually when I would get itchy to leave.

The idealist in me always says that we work way too hard day in and day out to do something that we don’t enjoy. So why WOULD you stay in a position that doesn’t support your passion or purpose?

3. Are you prepared to make a lateral move?

I am thinking of a recent conversation I had with a counselor over the notion of “would you rather be right, or would you rather be happy?” And I think that Jen Sincero said that too. But it makes complete sense.

Would you rather be happy in a position that might be a lateral move? Or would you rather dig your heels in waiting for promotion or advancement to present itself?

Part of choosing happiness means putting that choice first, and so your ambition may need to take a quick break while you remove yourself from the toxic place currently causing your unhappiness.

4. Do you have a plan?

Unless you have a rich uncle hiding out somewhere who can support you, then you probably aren’t in a position to walk into your supervisor’s office and quit. You’ll need a plan.

Can you afford to take a month or so off and do some soul searching? Does leaving your job also mean leaving your field and trying something new? Will you need to update your resume and let your references know that you’re searching? There are many things to take into consideration once you start leaning towards quitting.

I have only quit a job once without a new job waiting for me elsewhere. At the time, I was honoring my husband’s desire for a location change (warmer weather). And he had been such a good sport about all the other job changes (at this stage I was on Position #4).

We moved from Illinois to Arizona with some semblance of a plan; but I did temporary apartment leasing for almost six months before landing on my feet with something that felt permanent. If I could go back and do it all again, I would have beefed up that plan just a little bit.

(see this blog post on advancing your career!)

Final Thoughts

Only you can make the choice about quitting your job. You have to be able to make that decision and live with it regardless of where you stand. But weigh every factor first and talk to your close friends and your family while you are deciding.

The grass may be greener on the other side, especially if you have time to fertilize it first.

*Published originally on Lifehack, February 4, 2019

Moving Up When You Feel Stuck

I know how you feel. You feel stuck. You don’t how, at this stage, to advance your career.

Am I right?

A variety of things cause this:

• Taking a job for the money

• Staying with an employer that no longer aligns with your values

• Realizing that you landed yourself in the wrong career

• Not feeling valued or feeling underutilized

• Staying in a role too long out of fear

• Taking a position without a full understanding of the role

There are many, many other reasons why you may be feeling this way but let’s focus instead on getting unstuck.

As in – PROMOTION

I’m believe the best way to get promoted is through adding value to your organization.

Did you make money, save money, improve a process, or some other amazing thing? How else might you demonstrated added value?

Let’s dive right in how to get promoted when you feel stuck in your current position:

1. Be a Mentor

When I supervised students, I used to warm them – tongue in cheek, of course – about getting really good at their job.

“Be careful not to get too good at this, or you’ll never get to do anything else?”

This was my way of pestering them to take on additional challenges or think outside the box, but there is definitely some reality in doing something so well that your manager doesn’t trust anyone else to do it.

Avoid the “Stuck”

Jo Miller of Be Leaderly shares this insight on when your boss thinks you’re too valuable in your current job:[1]

“Think back to a time when you really enjoyed your current role. I bet there was a time when this job was a stretch for you, and you stepped up to the challenge and performed like a rock star. You became known for doing your job so well that you built up some strong “personal brand” equity, and people know you as the go-to-person for this particular job. That’s what we call “a good problem to have”: you did a really good job of building a positive perception about your suitability for the role, but you may have done “too” good of a job!”

With this in mind, how do you prove to your employer that you can add value by being promoted?

In Miller’s insight, she talks about building your personal brand and becoming known for doing a particular job well. So how can you link that work with a position or project that will earn you a promotion?

Consider leveraging your strengths and skills.

Let’s say that project you do so well is hiring and training new entry level employees. You have to post the job listing, read and review resumes, schedule interviews, making hiring decisions, and create the training schedules. These tasks require skills such as employee relations, onboarding, human resources software, performance management, teamwork, collaboration, customer service, and project management. That’s a serious amount of skills!

Is there anyone else on your team who can perform these skills? Try delegating and training some of your staff or colleagues to learn your job. There are a number of reasons why this is a good idea:

1. Cross-training helps in any situation in the event that there’s an extended illness and the main performer of a certain task is out for a while.

2. In becoming a mentor to a supervisee or colleague, you empower then to increase their job skills.

3. You are already beginning to demonstrate that added value to your employer by encouraging your team or peers to learn your job.

Now that you’ve trained others to do that work for which you have been so valued, you can see about re-requesting that promotion. Be ready to explain how you have saved the company money, encouraged employees to increase their skills, or reinvented that project of yours.

2. Work on Your Mindset

Another reason you may feel stuck in a position is well explained by Ashley Stahl in her Forbes article. Shahl talks about mindset, and says:[2]

“If you feel stuck at a job you used to love, it’s normally you–not the job–who needs to change. The position you got hired for is probably the exact same one you have now. But if you start to dread the work routine, you’re going to focus on the negatives.”

In this situation, you should pursue a conversation with your supervisor and share your thoughts and feelings. You can probably get some advice on how to rediscover the aspects of that job you enjoyed, and negotiate either some additional duties or a chance to move up.

Don’t express frustration. Express a desire for more.

Share with your supervisor that you seek more challenges and desire more You are seeking more responsibility in order to continue moving the company forward. Focus on how you can do that with the skills you have and will develop with some additional projects and coaching.

3. Improve Your Soft Skills

When was the last time you focused time and effort into upping your game with those soft skills? I’m talking about those seemingly intangible things that make you the experienced professional in your specific job skills:

• Communication

• Self-Motivation

• Leadership

• Responsibility

• Teamwork

• Problem-Solving

• Decisiveness

• Time Management

• Flexibility

• And more soft skills here: 50 Soft Skills for Lifelong Happiness and Success

An article on Levo.com suggests that more than 60 percent of employers look at soft skills when making a hiring decision.[3]

You can bone up on these skills and increase your chances of promotion by taking courses or seminars.

And you don’t necessarily need to request funding from your supervisor, either. Entrepreneurs and authors present dozens of webinars and sessions about these very subjects. Udemy and Creative Live both feature online courses at very reasonable prices. And some come with completion certificates for your portfolio!

Another way to improve your soft skills is by connecting with an employee at your organization who has the position you are seeking.

Express your desire to move up in the organization, and ask to shadow that person or see if you can sit in on some of her meetings. Offer to take that individual out for coffee and ask what her secret is! Take copious notes and then immerse yourself in the learning.

The key here is not to copy your new mentor (think Jennifer Jason Leigh in “Single White Female.” Just kidding). Rather, you want to observe, learn and then adapt according to your strengths. And don’t forget to thank that person for their time.

4. Develop Your Strategy

Do you even know specifically WHY you want to be promoted anyway? Is there a future at this company? Do you have a one year, five year, or ten year plan? How often do you consider your “why” and insure that it aligns with your “what?”

Sit down and do an old-fashioned Pro and Con list. Two columns:

Pro’s on one side, Con’s on the other.

Write down every positive aspect of your current job and then every negative one. Which list is longer? Are there any themes present?

Look at your lists and choose the most exciting Pro’s and the most frustrating Con’s. Do those two Pro’s make the Con’s worth it? If you can’t answer that question with a “yes” then getting promoted at your current organization may not be what you really want.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. –Mark Twain

Mel Carson writes about this on Goalcast that many other authors and speakers have written about finding your professional purpose.[4]

Here are some questions to ask yourself and get unstuck:

• Why is it that you do what you do?

• What thrills you about your current job role or career?

• What does a great day look like?

• How does success seem beyond the paycheck?

• What does real success feel like for you?

• How do you want to feel about your impact on the world when you retire?

These questions would be great to reflect on in a journal or with your supervisor in your next one-on-one meeting. Or, bring it up with one of your Vital Work Friends over coffee.

See, you might discover that you choose to be stuck. And you can set yourself on the path of moving up where you are, or moving on to something different.

Because sometimes the real promotion is finding your life’s purpose. And like Mastercard says, that’s Priceless.